The Road Away

I’m always baffled when someone says “I love you. I’ll accept you if you jump through xyz hoops.” Hear me now: if you want me to change, you’ll be disappointed. Do us both a favor and step out of my story immediately.

Up until recently I manifested my own self hate into other people who would embody that hate into finding something wrong with me. The happier I got, the more was wrong with me. Leaving their company to join the friends who have no interest in changing me was programmed to me as “betrayal.”

I love my own Heart above the illusion of anyone else’s. It’s how I plug into the rest of the cosmos and ultimately to you. In the end, it’s all I really have.

You may think the loneliest place in the world is on the road away from abuse but that’s shortsighted. I’ve found the loneliest place in the world to be surrounded by people who want to turn you into a goddamned Mr. Potato Head doll for their comfort and will tell you they love you and they truly know you best – that they are only looking out for your well-being.

The road away from them at first is loud and fiery. Then something wonderful happens. The road grows quiet, the breeze sings through your pain-drenched hair. The sun rises to meet your steps. You finally take a breath free of ash and at long last your Heart walks with you once again.

It is then that you know for certain you are free.

I’m Real.

After being hired for an event that was a tragedy, where I was misgendered, bullied, touched, cold, mislead about space, made new friends who thankfully bought me a drink because I couldn’t bring my self care kit on board….

I am tired and newly educated as to how very legit I and my practice are. I’m also wise as to just how deeply I’ve disparaged myself and thought I didn’t matter and was systematically worthless. What saddens me more is that I know for a fact that I am not alone in this. What I also know is how deeply and effectually I am changing the game.

Identify your needs and what come naturally to you. Set your requirements and watch the infinitely supportive cosmos meet them. If you build it they will actually come.

I’m real. I’m legit. I’m fucking Magic with a Heartbeat.

And so are you.

Now go act like it.